The ABCs of Optimism
G’day everyone,
This week we will look further into how to increase your optimism.
But before that, let’s recap.
We’ve spoken about how to measure your optimism levels.
We’ve spoken about the health advantages, the positive effect on personal relationships and the increase in resilience and reduction in depression.
Last week, we looked at when optimism is useful and when pessimism is a better choice.
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Your ABCs
Now we’ll look at how to break down how we (usually automatically) explain events to ourself.
The model uses ‘ABC’
Adversity: The even that we react to by thinking about it
Belief: These thoughts rapidly turn into beliefs. These beliefs may become habitual and we don’t realise we have them (hence the ‘usually automatic’ part).
Consequence: This is the result of these beliefs.
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An example given is someone taking your carpark.
Adversity: Someone takes your carpark.
Belief: You think that the person is inconsiderate. You think the person has seen you and decided to take your carpark.
Consequence: You get angry and yell at the driver or beep your horn.
Another example given is as follows. But with this example we can see that a different belief can cause a different result.
In the book, the beliefs aren’t written but I’ve put in my ‘answer’ instead.
Adversity: Your best friend hasn’t returned your phone calls.
Belief: You think that your best friend is deliberately ignoring you and doesn’t need you or doesn’t prioritise your friendship.
Consequence: You feel sad all day.
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This is compared to.
Adversity: Your best friend hasn’t returned your phone calls. (Same event).
Belief: You think that your friend must be really busy, or may be away and not have signal, or their phone is not working.
Consequence: You don’t feel bad and go about your day.
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See how your thoughts of the same event can dramatically change how it makes you feel.
This week, have a think about events in your life.
Write down the event.
Write down the thoughts that it causes.
This is harder that it sounds. I have found that the ‘ask why’ technique helps with that.
Write down your thought. Then ask why. Then write your answer. Then ask why.
This isn’t in the book but can be a useful technique.
Following this, write down the consequences (how you feel).
Pick one event a day.
Next week we’ll look at these examples and then look at how to dispute thoughts that aren’t conducive to optimism.
Enjoy!
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